Wednesday, July 25, 2007

When Does INTEREST Turn Into Stalking???

This entry is a continuation of the "What makes them think" blog. Only I feel as though it is not something out of my life, but rather a scene from one of those TV movies. So, the guy from the gym...just does not seem to get the hint. I guess I should mention my part in this story before I go on. The other day when the first incident occurred, this guy followed me when I walked to my car to leave the gym, still pushing conversation. I was still trying to be polite, all the while trying to make it clear that I was not there to meet anyone. While walking I am looking for my cell phone in my purse and cannot find it. He has his cell in hand and says to me, "here, call it". Without thinking, I call my phone from his. I did not hear my phone, we said goodbye, he did this weird pat on my shoulder half arm around me thing as I shrugged away from him and got into my car feeling very awkward about the whole thing. At the time, I did not think that part of the story was important. What has changed you might ask? Well, he has called my phone several times now and text me. It has recently been pointed out to me that I should have been much more direct and not only not used his phone, but also not let him walk with me to my car. What should I have said to get him to back off and stop??? Anyways! I did not answer or return his calls or his texts. The next day I speak with a friend of mine who tells me that he is the same guy who hit on her when she went to the gym just a few weeks earlier. I have to add this funny little addition,...He told us both that he is on the football team at MJC, which we soon learned that he was in fact NOT on the football team. So my friend and I decide to work out together yesterday and I am quite sure that will keep him away for good. Oh but I was mistaken! He still comes over to talk to me, even after what I thought was me making it obvious that I was ignoring him. I thought I was putting off this whole 'don't even think about coming over here' vibe,...but either he is an idiot or he did not care. The first few words he says to me, I completely ignore. That does not get him to walk away. He continues to attempt to get a response from me with what I think was a start to his lame explanation of why he called my phone so many times the night before. I finally look up at him, cutting him off I say, "I am here trying to work out with my friend and I really do not want to talk to you". He rolls his eyes and walks back over to his friend. I felt bad that I was rude but feel like I had to be to get him to leave me alone. Did that work? NO!!! He still text my phone last night, asking me why I was being so shady to him. So I ask you,...When does INTEREST turn into STALKING???????????????????????????????
Should I text him back or ignore him? How mean do I have to get to make my point?

3 comments:

Seán Fornelli said...

Regina, I do not think what you said to him was rude. I think it was direct. Being direct is often unexpected and may offend our West Coast sensibilities, but there is nothing wrong with it, especially since you tried being gentle in the first place.

I am ashamed to admit that we guys often do not get the hint and the ONLY way that you can hope to get through to this guy is to be as blunt and direct as possible. And you may have to end up being rude. But I believe you've tried everything else first.

Suzanne said...

Hmmm, this is creepy. I wouldn't text him back. I would see if it's possible to get his number blocked from calling/texting you. I think your next step is to report him and his behavior to the gym. When he tries to talk to you again, I'd say something like "Look, we're not friends. I'm not interested, and you're creeping me out." If he still doesn't understand your frank comments and keeps it up, I'd file a police report. They can't do anything yet, but it would be documented that he is harassing you. And if you ever see him around your house, call 911 immediately.

By the way, although I am a stranger to you, I am not a random stranger. I am Sean's friend, and he is trying to introduce me to the blogging world. Good luck.

Regina Falangie said...

Alright, so I did take your advice and have not responded at all to this clueless, gym stalker. The problem is that for whatever reason, he still does not get that I do not want to talk to him. Just this saturday I received a text from him that read, 'hey whats up?'. Still, I have not responded. But I ask you...what is my next move???? This guy is creepn me out and I do not understand at all why he is being so persistent. Help!