The END

While this whole Blogger experience was something new to try, I have to say that I am already over it. It was good for me to see what everyone was talking about, but much like myspace...it is just not for me. I am just too busy with work and school and my daughter to keep up on it. Also I found that my blogging takes time away from my journaling, and that is much more important to me. So for Little Ms Falangie this is THE END!

Looking to my FUTURE

Its Official,...I am 25. And YES, I had a good birthday.
Pretty much the whole day went well without too many upsets or distractions. I ate good food, got to see my family, got to shop and found some awesome shoes, and I got to get dressed up and go out with some of my closest friends. It was fun and I drank alot. I was definitely drunk, but did not drink too much. I had three goals for my birthday night: 1. drink 2. dance 3. have a good time............and I am happy to say that I accomplished those birthday night goals. And did I mention that my ex-boyfriend was there? I was glad he came and it made me happy that we were able to spend time together and get along like we use to. It felt pretty natural and it made us both happy to have fun together after so long apart. We are not about to or even close to ready to jump into our relationship again, but there is still alot of feelings there and chemistry and love. But as much as we both feel for each other, we still want to be smart about how we approach our relationship as it is now, as friends. I cannot lie and say that we were complete angels that night, but I am proud to say that we did not cross any lines that would complicate things. I think the best thing for both of us was that we were back to ourselves and able to look at each other and remember that we still enjoy each others company, and make each other laugh, and still feel that closeness,...even after all of that time. Overall, I think my big 25th birthday went well and I feel good. Not about the day or me and my ex, but mostly about me and my future. 25 to me, is my new direction, my fresh start. I feel like up to this mile stone I have been through so many challenges and learned so much. I may not know what my future holds or who I will end up with, but I am 25 now and I know who I am and what I want. I am going to continue on my path for a great future for me and my daughter, and I am going to continue to be the person I want to be, and make me and my little girl proud. I do feel anxious and nervous and even scared to see if my hopes and dreams will come true. But that is okay, because I feel stronger than ever before and ready to keep climbing that hill so I can see what is at the top.

TWO more days to go

The countdown continues...with only TWO more days until my big 25th Birthday. WOOHOO!
I am looking forward to it just in case you do not get that. I want to make it a good day and I really hope it is. I am looking forward to seeing my family, eating great food, and partying hard that night with my good friends. What will I wish when I blow out those candles?????
That is for me to know and hope it comes true.
;)

One TOO many

Have you ever looked back on a night of drinking with friends and had to face the reality of the night before? Have you ever realized that you should of stopped at your 6th drink, knowing that had you done that your whole night might have turned out differently? Well I had one of those nights this past Saturday where I definitely had one drink too many. There is a part of me who can laugh about it because there were those funny drunken moments. However, for the most part I am not exactly proud of my behavior and it is actually a tiny bit embarrassing. I guess it is pretty bad when you have to make a call the next day to apologize to someone. At the same time, to try to make myself feel better about the situation, I reminisce on the many ways it could have gone that would have been much worse. And in the spirit of thinking positively, I can feel proud that I did not do any of the following: strip off any article of clothing, dance on any bar or table, fall or break anything, make out with anyone or give anyone my number and then have to change it the next day, and I did not end up in jail or in some unknown location with any unknown person. LOL. Okay, so I have not done most of those things ever but still, it does make me feel a tiny bit better.

NEWS

Is it just me or is it getting harder and harder to watch the news???

Most days I make an effort to not watch the news because it often leaves me with this sick feeling in my stomach and a sadness that I cannot explain.

About a BOY...

Okay not a boy, a man...I just liked that title better.
I still stick to an earlier comment that I made about me not at all being in a place where I am ready or looking for dating or dealing with guys at this point in my life. With that said,... I do still have to deal with myself, and just recently some feelings for a certain someone came fluttering back up to the surface. This man??? An old boyfriend. It has been a while since we last talked but it looks like we will be seeing eachother soon for an important date (my BIG 25th birthday party....WOOHOO!!!). In the spirit of being honest I have to admit that I am really excited, nervous, and anxious about seeing him. And from what I have been told, he is looking forward to seeing me as well. I kinda feel like a teenager with a crush, only I am not and that situation is just not that simple. Timing has always been our issue and while I am looking forward to this little reunion, I need to remember to stay true to myself and the path I am on for the future I deserve. I do still have hope that with time we will get the chance to finally be together and have the future we have both wanted with eachother,...but that time is not now. This guy is the only relationship I had that I can look back on and see that he was genuine and truly cared about me. This guy is a good guy and my feelings for him have never gone away, they have just been put on pause...and then play,...and then pause, and then play,...and then pause again. You get the idea. lol. Its a long and complicated relationship but this I know, this guy will always hold a place in my heart and he will always be my friend!

When Does INTEREST Turn Into Stalking???

This entry is a continuation of the "What makes them think" blog. Only I feel as though it is not something out of my life, but rather a scene from one of those TV movies. So, the guy from the gym...just does not seem to get the hint. I guess I should mention my part in this story before I go on. The other day when the first incident occurred, this guy followed me when I walked to my car to leave the gym, still pushing conversation. I was still trying to be polite, all the while trying to make it clear that I was not there to meet anyone. While walking I am looking for my cell phone in my purse and cannot find it. He has his cell in hand and says to me, "here, call it". Without thinking, I call my phone from his. I did not hear my phone, we said goodbye, he did this weird pat on my shoulder half arm around me thing as I shrugged away from him and got into my car feeling very awkward about the whole thing. At the time, I did not think that part of the story was important. What has changed you might ask? Well, he has called my phone several times now and text me. It has recently been pointed out to me that I should have been much more direct and not only not used his phone, but also not let him walk with me to my car. What should I have said to get him to back off and stop??? Anyways! I did not answer or return his calls or his texts. The next day I speak with a friend of mine who tells me that he is the same guy who hit on her when she went to the gym just a few weeks earlier. I have to add this funny little addition,...He told us both that he is on the football team at MJC, which we soon learned that he was in fact NOT on the football team. So my friend and I decide to work out together yesterday and I am quite sure that will keep him away for good. Oh but I was mistaken! He still comes over to talk to me, even after what I thought was me making it obvious that I was ignoring him. I thought I was putting off this whole 'don't even think about coming over here' vibe,...but either he is an idiot or he did not care. The first few words he says to me, I completely ignore. That does not get him to walk away. He continues to attempt to get a response from me with what I think was a start to his lame explanation of why he called my phone so many times the night before. I finally look up at him, cutting him off I say, "I am here trying to work out with my friend and I really do not want to talk to you". He rolls his eyes and walks back over to his friend. I felt bad that I was rude but feel like I had to be to get him to leave me alone. Did that work? NO!!! He still text my phone last night, asking me why I was being so shady to him. So I ask you,...When does INTEREST turn into STALKING???????????????????????????????
Should I text him back or ignore him? How mean do I have to get to make my point?